Steve’s path took him from a strong spiritual background to one where he just couldn’t find comfort any longer in God. He describes a period in his life when he felt most alone, helpless and lost.
When I lost everything, my place became ripped from underneath me. Everything happened at once. I lost it all. My dad passed and my mom went shortly after that. My partner left me almost at the same time. At that point I didn’t feel alive anyway. I had nothing to live for anymore.
I got angry and belligerent and acted badly. Nothing mattered. I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do. I wanted to take control of my own life. I spent about a year living on the street. It was really bad. I prayed to go “home.”
Then, after a time immersed in a drug-induced numbing, Steve began to recognize that the answers to a better life were already within him. No longer seeking excuses from his outside world, he began to search within.
I started to ask the right questions: “Why did she actually leave me?” “What am I doing to cause these troubles?” “What can I do to change?”
I changed the way I look at the world. I knew that the answers were already inside of me. I started to take responsibility for my own behaviours.
Steve now attends regular AA meetings and makes sure to be involved in reaching out to others who need support.
I have so much knowledge and experience to share with others. I don’t want young people to go through the same things that I went through. I can be helpful by staying creative and seeking ways of breaking through roadblocks when they arise.
I’m here for a long time to come. I have learned that it’s definitely not my time to go “home.” I have a strong spiritual connection now and engage with others. I wish I’d been on this track throughout my life, but I suppose I’ve had to learn it the hard way.
Like Steve…let’s all just keep talking… it does get better.